Show-Pig Goat Banana Cricket
Episode Title-Pig Goat Banana Cricket High Five
Air Date-July 16th 2015
Season 1
Episode 1
So, Nick has a new animated show, eh.
And because it's Nick and it's animated I'm obligated to watch and review it. But before that lets talk about Nick for a moment.
NICKELODEON SUCKS NOW.
No, i'm not saying that because the shows i grew up with aren't airing anymore. I'm saying that because the shows are awful (at least the animated ones are anyway)
I mean Breadwinners is just tedious pandering to kids.
Sanjay and Greg is just tedious, disgusting pandering to kids.
Spongebob, you already know my thoughts on that subject.
Then there's Harvey Beaks which is actually pretty decent.
I mean say what you want about Cartoon Network they at least try.
You may not like Uncle Grandpa or Teen Titans Go but Cartoon Network still has Steven Universe, We Bare Bears, Sonic Boom, Adventure Time, Gumball and so many other, actually quality content.
As of right now Cartoon Network is the better of the 2 channels at least for me.
As a kid it was a hard choice. I definetly watched more Nick but i had a hard time picking favorites.
Nick had classic Spongebob, Avatar, Fairly Odd Parents, Danny Phantom, Rugrats and so many other shows I enjoyed.
But on the other hand Cartoon Network had Powerpuff Girls, Chowder, Samurai Jack, Ben 10, Teen Titans and so many more.
Now the answer is clear. Cartoon Network.
They try to have quality content that respects their audiences intelligence. Nick only cares to pander to their audience and their newest show. Pig Goat Banana Cricket (Stupidest Name Ever) shows the problem with all that.
So what do ya say lets get stated shall we.
To make things simple we'll be looking at the first episode titled Pig Goat Banana Cricket High Five.
Lets begin.
We start with the theme song. It is seriously the worst cartoon theme song I've ever heard. But at least it accurately shows how awful this show is. When the episode actually starts you'll notice the animation. It is ugly. Breadwinners has better animation, heck Allen Gregory has better animation. I can't say it's the worst animation I've ever seen though as both Angela Andachonda and 12 Oz. Mouse are much worse. But enough about other shows lets get into this one.
The episode starts with 1 of the 4 main characters named Pig. He's dumb. That's his only personality trait. At least he's not obnoxiously dumb like say....modern Patrick but he's still unfunny, unentertaining and dull as crap. Heck I think crap has more of a personality.
All the characters in this show are one note.
Pig is Dumb
Banana is a jerk
Goat is easily angered
And Cricket is a mad scientist
That's all I can say about these dull characters.
Anyway Pig wants some Pickles and ask everyone if they wanna go with him to get some. Now I gotta give credit where credit is due they do do a great job of introduceing these characters. Since this is the first episode that is a requirement. However the characters are still dull.
Goat says no to Pig
Banana says no to Pig and then we get........this
Banana confused this for his lunchbag and in reality it belongs to Cricket.
A whole lot of other guts fall out as well, but hey that's not the most unpleasent thing to watch in this 22 minute episode.
Pig then goes to ask Cricket if he wants to go pickle shopping. Cricket is to busy making a living arm though (remember mad scientist) that then ends up choking him. Pig clearly sees this yet because he's the idiot he stays oblivious.
We then start the Pig plot. Yes each character gets their own plotline. Instead of 4 individual episodes they just tied together a plot line for each character. Now in reality this may be a great way to introduce us to the characters (well, what little there is about them) however the individual plots barely connect. Now a good show could probably make this work but here it's clunky. And apparently every other episode is like this as well.
Anyway Pig's plot starts with Pig going to the pickle shop.
He grabs a cart and ounce inside ask a man wearing a Pickle suit with a P on it in a Pickle Store what the P on his suit stands for because ha ha he's the idiot.
If Patrick Star can do stupidity correctly, you can to.
He then sees a pickle water fall and decides to stuff some in his pants because the audience they're pandering to well totally laugh out loud.
Ha......ha........ha
By the way this animation is disgusting. Here is the point I started to notice that the 'style' they're going for is to make everything look as grotesque as possible. It's unappealing to say the least. Pig then decideds to climb a pickle mountain. Guess what the mountain is called.....no guess.
Mt. Picklemanjaro.
Yay for awful puns.
Also why does a store have a mountain inside of it.
Pig decides he's gonna climb to the top of the mountain. However, ounce he starts climbing, a Reggae Mouse just pops out of no where and Pig falls off the mountain.
Yeah, by the way, the mouse is just a reggae stereotype. And so I guess he's actually a Jamaican Stereotype.
Any way it looks like Pig is meeting certain doom (please die, please die).
Unfourtanetly he is saved by..........the shopping....cart?
What. Yeah the shopping cart. Its apparently alive, and it has the mannerisms of a dog.
I......this......what.
This is just.....dumb. Plain dumb.
Uncle Grandpa would look at this and say "wow, this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen"
What the heck.
Since it's pandering to kids it has to be as dumb as possible. A good show could take something dumb like this and turn it into something that's fun to watch (watch the Harvey Beaks episode The Finger) this show is awful though so......
Anyway Pig forms a bond (i use that word very loosely) with the shopping cart. He leaves the cart back where he found it and starts heading home. However the cart follows him and Pig decides to take it with him.
However when someone sees him take the cart she freaks out and gets the manager who acts like this is the most heinous crime ever. Seriously they act like Pig commited a murder. I know it's the joke but it's not funny. It's dumb.
So they hire a biker to chase Pig down.
He says he hates pigs so.....your a racist. Ok, odd.
By the way the bikers design is probably the ugliest of them all.
So the biker chases Pig down but thanks to luck he escapes unharmed.
We also get alot of butt jokes because kids like butts right. Honestly there is nothing wrong with having a butt joke but they have so many and none of them are funny. I know kids will find it funny. Well here's the thing will they find it funny when their older and revisiting the shows they watched as a kid. Some probably will but most probably won't. Most kids can't look at things with a critical eye. Most kids will watch whatever is in front of them. However when they get older and look at things critically most will think this is plain stupid. When making something for entertainment your supposed to make a lasting impression. Something thats supposed to be remembered and remain entertaining no matter how old someone is. So just pandering to one audience is not a good way to do that.
When the generation of kids grow up they'll forget about this crap and remember the shows that actually tried and had effort put into them. Shows like Steven Universe, or Adventure Time or Harvey Beaks. How do I know this. The same thing happened with my generation. People in my grade at school are always talking about shows like classic Spongebob or Teen Titan. Good shows that will always be remembered fondly. That we still remember for the hours of entertainment they provided us. However no one talks about shows like Sidekicks, a show that tried to pander to my generation with tons of unfunny bodily function humor. Sidekicks only tried to pander to us and thus wasnt very good. As a result it is not remembered well. However teen titans and classic spongebob tried to entertain instead of pander to us as a result they were good and still well remembered. Now even shows that don't pander to an audience can still end up bad but for the most part those shows are still way better than shows that do pander to a certain audience (for the most part). Point is pandering to an audience is pointless. The only reason people do it is because they don't have the talent to entertain a general audience. That or they dont even try. Pandering to an audience just ends in a awful piece of crap with painful jokes, bad stories and no substance what so ever. Weather the show panders to kids or not. At least with the stuff I've seen.
Plus the young kids of this generation (the audience this is trying to pander to) don't really care much either. The little kids at my school talk about shows like Steven Universe or Adventure Time and are pretty much ignoring this piece of animated crap. Why because kids want shows that respect their intellegence. SOMETHING NICK DOESN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND. So there is absoulutley NO point in pandering to them. They don't care. Even the audience you pander to finds you stupid.
Ugh...back to this bland piece of crap.
Anyway that's pretty much the Pig Plot.
1 down 3 to go. *Sigh*.
We then start the Goat plot. The only connection between each plot is that we see Pig running from the racist biker at some point during the other plots.
Anyway Goats plot starts with her singing on the street.
However she completely sucks and no one pays any attention to her. And to top it off some dude is doing
construction at the site shes playing at.
By the by this guy is this episodes running gag. He comes in and ruins goats performances. Now the thing with running gags is that you gotta change it up each time, you cant just do the same joke with the same gag or else it'll get stale and unfunny. Someone forgot to give the writers of this episode the memo. But it wasn't funny to begin with so either way.....
Anywho Goat tries to play her song for some dude on a submarine
And I will admit that this part got a laugh out of me. It is pretty funny. I won't explain why as i feel that may ruin the joke. I only ruin jokes on certain occasions like with my Artist Unknown review and how I was explaining why a certain joke worked in that episode but not in an episode like Good Neighbors. Speaking of Spongebob why am I wasting time with this when I could be watching that.
So Goat gets kicked out of the Sub and tries to play her song for.....*sigh* a bogger fish
Kids like boggers right.
I'm sure some do but even as a kid I thought boggers were disgusting and I still do now. The animation makes it even worse.
*sigh* how much longer must I deal with this.
Oh and the construction dude is back
Why is he doing construction underwater.
Also I just reliazed the only joke they ever do with goat is making her mad. However they suck at making it funny. And considering thats the only joke they do with her makes it more....well boring. Yeah, its not obnoxious unlike Family Guy or some Spongebob episodes but its still dull, dumb, and unentertaining.
A sea man then finds Goat and ask for her to play a song for his people as apparently he's a king.
However when Goat gets there for the concert she finds out shes actually a dictator. She encourages the people to overthrow him and they do. They want Goat to be the new ruler (trust me you don't want a politician with a temper like hers.) But she declines the offer and instead invites them all to a concert at her house. And the construction dude shows up FOR THE THIRD FRICKEN TIME. Overused jokes, escepecially those that were never funny, are not funny. Should I have to explain this. But that's Goat's plot. 2 down 2 to go.
Next up is Banana's plot.
So Pig is the dumb one (cause apparently every show needs a dumb character)
Goat is easily angered
So whats Bananas personality.
He's a jerky slacker.
Wow, a character in this show has more than 1 personality trait. It's a miracle.
He's still blander than tofu but at least he has more of a personality than the others. But to be honest he's pretty much just Mordecai or Rigby just with way more jerkiness added.
His plot starts with him...well, being a slacker. Ok Mordecai and Rigby had more of a personality than just slacking off. They are well defined characters. All banana is is a slacker.....and a jerk. He's a bland character. Also, get this, he spends most of his time slacking playing video games. Kinda like 2 other slackers I know. Hmmmmm
Anyway his boss comes in and yells at him for being a slacker. Kinda like Benson on Regular Show. Oh and apparently banana works at a park, just like MORDECAI AND RIGBY DO ON REGULAR SHOW!
WTH show. I hope this is all just a coincidence.
We find out what it is exactly Banana does. He is a guide to a group of junior scouts and apparently he's lost like over 30 of his scouts.
Kind of reminds me of that one episode of BrickleBerry were one of the guys (don't know the name) who also works at a park tries to help some junior scouts win a race but ends up killing or severely hurting them. Speaking of Brickleberry the art style in this show is very similar to that of Brickleberry.
You know what I've compared this show to both Regular Show and Brickleberry. I hope these comparisons were just a coincidence. Especially with the Brickleberry one. It'd be kinda bad if a kid show tried to copy an adult show especially one as vulgar as BrickleBerry.
Anyway one of the scouts Banana lost comes in looking weak and barely alive. And this is played for laughs. I know a kid who was lost for God knows how long that's starving and thirsty and almost dead......that's hilarious right......oh wait NO!
So if Banana loses another scout he's fired (He's lost over 30. To be frank I would fire him after losing one.)
So he meets up with his scouts and acts like a jerk cause thats his other personality trait when he's not slacking off. He doesnt even bother to learn their names and instead just call them all Frank. He then tells them a bunch of lies like how a Pinecone is actually a wolf egg, and the kids are dumb enough to beleave it. They don't even question him. So yeah job well done, Banana goes back to his hut to slack off again but oh no...the kids are gone.
Banana hears a cry for help in the cave that he told them not to go into (if I were the kids I wouldn't listen to Banana either.)
Any way Banana enters the cave but to remind us of one of the other plots in this episode Pig runs through Banana with the racist biker chasing after him. Leading to Banana getting stabbed with a rock somehow.
Cause that's just so...so...funny right....right.
Such a pleasent sight. Especially on a kids show.
Steven Universe did this but in the episode Steven The Sword Fighter but it worked as Pearl (the one getting stabbed) didn't feel a thing. She blew it off like it was nothing and that was funny. Getting stabbed through your body hurts and thus seeing someone getting stabbed is usually not funny.
Kinda reminds me of an American Dad episode called Shallow Vows. In it Roger stabs Steven many time. Like this episode, It's not funny except since American Dad is an adult cartoon they make it more gruesome.
Wow, Regular Show, Brickleberry, Steven Universe, and American Dad. I'm comparing this show to a lot of other shows.
Either way, Banana finds the kids and it turns out they're just playing arcade games......in a cave.
Why is there an arcade in a cave?
I'm no expert but having your buisness be in a dark, scary cave doesn't exactly sound like a good strategy.
Also all the arcade games have names very similar to games in real life just with one word switched. Like Donkey Scream instead of Donkey Kong, and Pac-Rat instead of Pac-Man.
Not particually funny nor subtle but it's fun to see the refrences to classic games.
And that's pretty much Banana's plot.
Dumb, Dull, just like the rest.
3 down 1 last one left.
I am to Garnet. Lets get this over with and end things off with Cricket's plot.
His plot starts with him making a living sin.
Goat then appears. Cricket apparently has a crush on her. I guess it's because she's just as bland as he is.
She ask cricket to help her get ready for the concert. Holy crap a plot is actually connecring to another one. Its a miracle. Now if only we could fix everything else.
Also Goat doesnt seem to notice the Sin that Cricket created. Even though it came out from under it's tarp RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. Is everyone just stupid. Also said sin really doesnt serve a purpose except to remind us Cricket's a scientist. Something we knew already.
So Cricket comes up with an idea.
Beauty Goo
He uses it to make the world more beautiful. To bad it didn't fix the animation. Also if I used that in real life this show would be gone.
However, making the world beautiful has a side effect.
A comet falls in live with the earth
What.
The comet falls in......love with the earth?
And apparently he doesnt know its earth. Dang thats one dumb comet.
So the world is in chaos as the comet is shaking the earth around.
All because the earth was beautiful.
Luckily Cricket has a solution.
To make the world ugly.
Trust me, with this animation it won't be hard.
So Cricket creates ugly goo and makes the world ugly.
He does this by....pretty much making the world into the world we live in today.......is this just a coincidence or is there some social commentary. Actually scratch that. A show with a booger fish is to dumb to have social commentary of any sort.
So the day is saved.
The end right......unfourtenetly no.
Some of the ugly goo falls on Goats rear end and......*sigh* turns her butt into a monster.
I reapeat. It turns her BUTT INTO A MONSTER.
You know I'm only 6 episodes into the Animated Critic and I already wanna give up. This is the crap I'm gonna have deal with if I wanna continue this. Well you know what the medium of animation means to much to me. Im not gonna let this crap fly. There are shows out there that know to get reconition you need effort. THEN THERE'S CRAP LIKE THIS. You know what i'm not quiting. There are some absolutley beautiful shows out there that deserve praise. And shows like this that deserve to be bashed. Crap like this shouldn't get a pass. Thats why I'm here to make sure it doesn't. Lets finish the job.
So monster butt. Still pandering to kids with you're stupid humor.
This is dumb. Once again Uncle Grandpa would look at this and say its dumb. I....,..*sigh* what happened to you nick. What happened.
Classic Spongebob, Danny Phantom, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Hey Arnold.
Do those shows ring a bell. People still love these shows. They had effort put into them, didn't pander to us, and respected our intellegence.
Now you devolved into this.
What has happened to the channel I once loved.
Goat gets angry at Cricket (Big Shock) and Cricket storms off in terror.
Hey remember Pigs plot. Barely?
Same here. It gets brought up again though.
Pig brings the dog shopping cart into his tree house (a sentence I never thought I'd say) and is revealed that the cart had babies. Ugh, this is so dumb.
Tell me, how to carts have.....sex. Please enlighten me. The racist biker barges in and tells him Pig to return the cart. However Goat and Banana stand up for Pig. Or rather Goat stands up for Pig while Banana tries to get his scouts to do it instead of him. What a good friend. Also what are the scouts doing in Banana's house. Either way, Cricket crashes his spaceship into the house and convenietlly hits the biker. I'm just gonna assume he died.
Cricket saved the day once again but Goat is still mad at him. Luckily Cricket has a Deus Ex Machina, and he pulls out a can of Monster Butt Remover.
You know what this reminds me of.
Yeah that stupid 'Get Your Job Back' Card at the end of Peter Problems. How many things are wrong with this you may ask. I'll tell you.
1-The whole monster butt thing didnt really do much but add a really stupid joke to the episode. It was a completly useless plot point.
2-Why didnt you use this earlier. Its not like he invented it on the ship. The way they bring it up they make it seem he had it all along. So WHY DIDNT YOU USE IT EARLIER. Its like that stupid card in Peter Problems.
3-Why did you have monster butt remover. Is monster butt just a common occurance.
This is stupid. Utterly stupid.
Almost Over. Almost Over.
So the monster butt is gone and the concert can begin. So we see the concert and The Guitar talks. Yeah i forgot to mention the guitar can talk (refer to any comment about this show above)
And then the construction guy appears FOR THE FOURTH EFFING TIME. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF THE RULE OF 3.
Thank God. This is crap. Its not even bad in an interesting way though. Its dull, bland, stupid, has bland characters, the writing is clunky, it panders to kids and insults their intelligence. On top of that its tedious to get through. It may not be the most obnoxious but i still had trouble sitting through it and it is still bad.
Best Part-The Comet (It actually had some decent jokes)
Worst Part-The Banana Plot
Overall Score-4/10
It shows everything wrong with modern Nick. And you know what I'm not done sticking it to Nick. We'll continue to explore how this once great channel fell from his throne in the next 2 episodes.
See you guys then.
Next Episode-Gone Flushin (Fairly Odd Parents)
Other Future Reviews
The Finger (Harvey Beaks)
The Sum of His Parts (Teen Titans)
Gorilla (Teen Titans Go)
No comments:
Post a Comment